What defines ‘the one’? The definition is different for each relationship, as ‘the one’ is unique to each person. However, if we’re going to generalize (which, yes, we will for this article), there are signs to spot who is not ‘the one’ for you.
Here are 10 of those signs:
- S/he Doesn’t Want to Introduce You to His Friends/Family
If your partner doesn’t want you to meet the ones he loves most, then he is either embarrassed by you or he doesn’t think you’ll approve of his family/friends. Either way, the puzzle pieces aren’t fitting together, which may be a sign you weren’t meant to be.
- S/he Hates Your Passion
You’re a musician. You love to play. But she doesn’t love to watch you or even deign to love it. She never attends your live mics or even listens when you give her a sneak peak of your new smash hit. If she isn’t your biggest fan, then she is not your other half.
- S/he Tries to Control You
No one wants to be caged. A relationship should make you feel freer than you’ve ever felt. If either partner feels trapped, then you’re not each other’s soul mates.
- S/he Tries to Make You Jealous
This one walks hand-in-hand with control. When one partner tries to control the other, it’s usually due to personal insecurity and jealousy. My partner and I have discussed control and jealousy on several occasions, and we agree that striking the right balance of trust and respect is the healthiest approach to avoiding both.
- S/he Hates Your Success
Jealousy doesn’t only have to do with coveting thy neighbor’s wife (or being angry at your neighbor for coveting yours); it also relates to jealousy of your partner’s successes. If your partner wallows in his own failings and becomes unsupportive when you shoot to the stars, he is not ‘the one’ for you.
- S/he Makes You Feel Worthless
Your partner should make you feel like the most special person in the world. If she doesn’t, then she doesn’t want you to feel that way. You should be the apple of her eye, not unworthy of her.
- S/he Disrespects You
I always harp on about the importance of respect in relationships, but there’s a simple reason: without respect, a relationship is not worth having. If your partner doesn’t respect you, get out while you can.
- S/he Doesn’t Support You
Your partner should want to be there for you in the good times and the bad. She should want to comfort you during rough patches and be your shoulder to lean on. If she abandons you during your time of need, then it wasn’t in the cards.
- S/he Cheats on You
Let’s get real. If your partner cheats, he simply doesn’t care about the relationship. Someone who loves and respects his partner doesn’t act on these urges because he knows they completely destroy trust and respect, which as we know, are paramount to a healthy relationship.
- S/he Doesn’t Make You Happy
If your partner doesn’t strive every day to make you happy and, in turn, make herself happy, then she certainly isn’t your special someone. The person who is ‘the one’ for you won’t be selfish; she’ll want to share in your happiness.
While ‘the one’ may not be determined by any equation, these are surefire signs that your partner is not ‘the one’. Watch for these clear indicators of a future breakup – and break up with them before you settle in for the long haul.