9 Reasons to Buy a New Mac or Find a New Boyfriend

Singles on Cupid

Are you pondering whether to purchase a new Mac or search for a new boyfriend? Both ventures take time and (often) money, so it’s best to weigh the pros and cons of the two in your balance before you go out shopping for either. Never fear – we’ve done the work for you!

Here are 9 signs that you should either buy a new mac or find a new boyfriend.

The new Mac has a 67% brighter display…but your new bf brightens your day by approximately 97%.

macbook display

If your choice was between a brighter visual or a brighter existence, which would you prefer? If it’s the former, go for a new Macbook; if it’s the latter, a new boyfriend will be your own personal sun.

The new Mac has more than one USB port…but your new bf won’t deceive you.


Your new Mac is indiscriminate when it comes to letting others plug in. The Mac is into an open relationship. But not your new boyfriend. He’s loyal, and you’re the only one for him.

The new Mac is 17% thinner…but your new bf may be just as fit.

new Mac is thinner

While a thinner Mac may be preferable, the “thinness” of your bf depends on what you like. This one’s a toss-up.

The new Mac has up to 10 hours of battery life…but your new bf may last a lifetime.


A 10-hour charge is a sweet deal in the life of Macs, but your notebook will still die repeatedly, killing your relationship in the process. Your new boyfriend may have enough life in him to stick it out to the end.

The new Mac has up to 100% faster flash storage…but your new bf may provide you with unlimited memories.

fast storage macbook

Flash storage is awesome, but is it the same as the spontaneous memories you’ll make with your new bf? Now, those are priceless.

The new Mac has up to 130% faster graphics…but your new bf is a real-life gif.

The new Mac has brighter display

Neat! Faster graphics! Then again, they’re on the computer screen. Look to your left, your new boyfriend is a real-life graphic, and he’s ten times more entertaining than that repetitive loop.

The new Mac has speakers with up to 58% more volume…but your new bf plays in a band.

loud speakers

Yeah, it’s cool and all to listen to your favorite jams on speakers that do them justice, but it’s just not the same as the live music experience that you’ll get from your new boyfriend’s impromptu concerts.

The new Mac has 2x dynamic range…but your new boyfriend may be very dynamic and with unlimited range.

new mac speakers

Wowww, the new Mac is really outdoing itself with its dynamic sound range. But, guess what? Your new boyfriend may be a dynamic character with an unlimited range of talent, which is far more entertaining.

The new Mac has 4x key stability…but your new boyfriend may be just as stable.

key stable macbook

Super, key stability is a smash! But your new boyfriend may be emotional, psychological, and financially stable. If he is, then he’s quite a catch!

The choice is pretty clear: it’s time to look for a new boyfriend.

…but why choose, when you can have both?!


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