How to Approach a Girl at a Bar – Major Dos and Don’ts for Guys

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If you are reading this article, most likely you feel extremely nervous and troubled, when you are about to approach her or even think of it. And such emotions may easily cause you to make mistakes and fail miserably. Then you go back home and keep thinking about the whole thing. You wonder what went wrong. These dos and don’ts will help you to sort it out and succeed!

Major don’ts on how to approach girls at the bar:

If you do these things, you fail time after time. However, once you know them, you can avoid making the same mistakes over and over again!


1. Turning your eyes away
This is inevitable if you feel intimidated by the lady at the bar. You try to look her in the eyes, but quickly turn away. It shows how unconfident you are and indicates you are afraid. Once you do that, you lay the foundation for your failure!

But how do you learn to maintain the eye contact? Practice it and not during the dates! If you are on a bus or the subway or at the store, find someone who looks you in the eyes and monitor for your reaction. Most likely you turn away there too.

So, get some practice. Keep that contact, make that stranger turn away first or smile at them and meet them! Say something funny. Such interaction teaches you to be at ease with the strangers, and it helps when approaching a cute girl at the bar!

2. Getting caught and turning away
This is even worse. You are at the bar, and you see the lady you like. You look at her, and suddenly she turns your way and catches you at it. You quickly turn away and pretend as if nothing happened. That’s stupid! She caught you! The only way out of the situation is to maintain that eyes contact, smile and eventually come up to her and offer her a drink or say a joke. You are not a little boy afraid of scolding! Show her you are the man!

3. Getting drunk
Probably of all the don’ts this one is the worst! You just blew it. Some guys get few drinks to relax and summon up the courage, but they end up being drunk and stalking the women at the bar. If you doubt your looks or powers to charm the women when you are sober, just imagine what they think of you, when are you are drunk!

4. Being self-centered
Ladies often complain of men doing all the talk and being arrogant. These guys have no problem approaching pretty girls, but they cannot keep them. Why? She is not there to hear all about your work and your cars and your money, etc. Stop bragging! Listen to her. Get to know her better to figure out if you even want to date the girl.

5. Whining
She is not your therapist. Yes, you had a hard day, so she did, too. She is out there to have fun and to relax and get cheered up after her work. Some guys “get on your ears” and women feel used by them. They do most of the talking, and all they say is negative. Would you like to meet a girl like that? Well then put this one into your don’ts list!

Major dos of meeting women in the bar:

If you get these dos right, you can significantly improve your love life!


1. Overcome the fear of rejection
There is not a chance that every girl you approach would say “yes”. You cannot possibly avoid getting rejected once in a while. So, why fear it? It’s the inevitable, and you should accept it. If that fear stops you, you lose 100 percent. You do not even leave yourself the slightest chance for success. So, overcome this fear, get it over with, accept it and go for it!

2. Do it at the right moment
If she is talking to someone or is surrounded by her friends, it’s not the best moment. Make her notice you first. Look at her and catch her gaze, smile and indicate your further intentions. If the woman likes you, she would make it easier for you and would create that moment for you to come up to her.

3. Know what to say
If you are at your ease, you can experiment and rely on your luck, but if you are nervous, pull yourself up and focus on the words to say, when approaching her. Otherwise, you can blow it all. Get a few cool jokes or pick up lines to use. See which one of them suit her the best.

4. Keep the eye contact
However, do it smartly. Starring at her is a bad idea. You may look creepy. If you look her in the eyes, keep at it for few seconds, then smile and turn away. You are not at the staring contest. It’s not about winning, but about impressing her.

5. Keep the nerves at bay
All involved in dating are nervous, and it’s Ok. She is a human too. Many hot girls feel very insecure and even lonely inside. They are dreading the whole thing even more than you do. So, stay confident and human. You do not have to be a superhero. And this confidence should not be artificial or push you to arrogance. Do not go overboard with it. You are you and faking a personality is no good.

Now you know the 5 dos and don’ts of approaching hot ladies at the bar or eslewhere. You can analyze your own performance and spot the mistakes that kept you away from success in dating. Use the dos to make things easier and win every time (or almost every time)!

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