Here’s a unique cheesy horoscope for the next week that Wingman Barney worked out for you to be aware how your nearest future can look like! Cancer should travel somewhere this week! Aries, plunge into some adventure! Libra, spend time with people that matter most!
1. Aries (Mar 21st– Apr 19th)
Where did all the adventure in your life go? You can only look to yourself for the answer to that. Hopefully, you won’t need an imaginary friend to prompt you into livening your next week up. Maybe an exotic purchase is on the cards.
2. Taurus (April 20th– May 20th)
Chocolate is the best! You’ve been tempted a lot this last week and unfortunately for your waist band, it’ll happen again. Stay strong if you want to feel better in the long term.
3. Gemini (May 21st– June 20th)
Along with Taureans; you’ve had a lot of temptation recently. Have you given in? Your decisions will not impact the coming week as you’ll be too busy with family to care. Let’s hope grandma doesn’t break out the cake!
4. Cancer (June 21st– July 22nd)
Travelling; we all want to do it but don’t want to make that leap. You commute to work every day so why not go a little further this week? Little by little, getting a taste for exploring will boost your confidence for the trials ahead.
5. Leo (July 23rd-August 22nd)
Why was this week so rubbish and why did everything go wrong? Look no further than your current employment. They aren’t designed to make you happy but hey! What is? That’s a genuine question; go and have a look (not in the wine fridge, though.
6. Virgo (August 23rd – September 22nd)
Well done to you, you’re on a roll with your financial and physical situation. All that due diligence paid dividends. Good for you! The upcoming trials will not be in these areas for a while but rather fatigue and simple mistakes. Look after yourself!
7. Libra (September 23rd– October 22nd)
I love a good film, don’t you? How about trying to get a few of your closest people together and watching a few whilst pigging out? You have forgotten how important it is to spend time with the people who matter most and some time together will be a great refresher.
8. Scorpio (October 23rd– November 21st)
It’s not all doom and gloom for you. The weather might be taking a turn for the worse and you’re getting tired but look on the bright side, you’re not in jail! (apologies if you are). What I’m getting at is that a little positivity will make the mundane seem therapeutic.
9. Sagittarius (November 22nd– December 21st)
Are you in the mood for love? Be careful what you wish for as this week affection is coming from an unwanted source. Are you going to be your flirtatious self or be super sensible? I’d recommend looking at animals for the right direction on this one.
10. Capricorn (December 22nd– January 19th)
Bodybuilder? Astronaut? Famous creator of a certain website? Whatever dreams you have or have achieved, don’t let them go and this week you may take a positive step towards enhancing them…Mr Zuckerberg…
It was worth a guess.
11. Aquarius (January 20th– February 18th)
Unless you’re lactose intolerant or have no pleasure area in the brain, you’ll love a bit of cheese. Like all things good, it’s pretty bad for you and can cause a few nightmares along the way. Apply this cheese principle to other things that are awesome and this week will be much clearer.
12. Pisces (February 19th– March 20th)
A fairly easy week for you has just floated by and now you’ve become a slight complacent with regards to the upcoming future. Get your head out of the clouds and focus on something quickly this week or you will be left in a haze of boring averageness for a while. Party on!