Love is the greatest emotional risk in our life. We might land in someone’s arms or on jagged rocks. We never know exactly. What does matter is that we dared to love.
Find answers to the relationship questions asked by our Facebook Users! Check if there’s something that also bothers you.
Q. 1 What are the reasons why so many relationships break up?
A. There are many reasons why relationships both long term and short fail, whilst some reasons are completely unique to a specific relationship, many can be attributed to a handful of causes. Infidelity is one such cause and it stands to reason that breaking the trust of your partner physically could potentially leave permanent scars which never go away and erode the partnership. Emotional infidelity, is also responsible with many women in particular feeling emotionally betrayed when their partner has a deeper connection to another woman.
Another common reason why relationships break up is selfishness on one or both partner’s part. It stands to reason that if one or both of the partners are constantly putting their wants and needs above the other person’s, the relationship is fundamentally flawed and is likely to collapse. This isn’t to say that one shouldn’t put themselves first once in a while, considering the other person’s views as an instinct reaction is a good sign of emotional connectivity, you just don’t necessarily have to agree all of the time.
The final reason I think many relationships fail is quite general and this is due to ‘life stresses’. This comes in two forms, over stimulation and under stimulation. Over stimulation means the constant stress from work, finances, children, threats to the relationship etc. overpowering one or both partners until the relationship breaks. On the other end of the spectrum, becoming too comfortable that you no longer see the specific reasoning behind being with your partner due to general monotony and routine leads many to realise that they don’t need the other or desire something more from their lives. Balance is key here.
Q. 2 Can a relationship ever be fixed once an affair has taken place?
A. Cheating happens. It’s a fact for many that this has affected their lives in some way and yet the world (depending on opinion) hasn’t gone to the dogs yet. Some relationships can be fixed whereas others, with deeper, more fundamental issues cannot. Whatever the reason, the healing will take time and a lot of patience, anxiety and sorrow and so if you’re thinking of undergoing the fixing process, make sure you believe that the relationship/partner is worth it before trying.
The reason for the partner cheating are fundamental to knowing whether the relationship is salvageable and therefore if you’re both willing to try, you MUST know what these reasons are in order to see if it is possible. Once you know what the reason for cheating is and you believe that it is possible to fix, the pair of you must remember to be patient, completely open in your dialogue with one another and most of all give each other enough time to breathe. The rest is up to you.
Q. 3 How will I know when I have found the perfect spouse for me?
A. I hate to use such a cliché however…90% of the time ‘when you know you just know’. To be a little bit more informative, here is a list of things which may give indication that you’re in a healthy, happy and stable relationship.
-You show mutual respect to one another when together and apart
-You are not irrationally jealous of other relationships or other men/women around your partner as you trust them
-You are capable and happy about spending large amounts of time together without feeling uncomfortable, the need to do something or ripping each other’s heads off
-If there is a problem, neither of you jump to the ‘let’s break up’ option. You both know the relationship is worth it and can survive a few bumps
-You are in looooooove!