Wow, this is amazing. Somebody actually wants to start a family and spend their life with you. They have no idea what they’ve signed up for. You’ll have to pull out all the stops for sure. Here’s a guide to help you not to ruin your brand new family.
Keep Your Wandering Eyes on the Prize
Sure, it’s not like you’re dead yet. You run into a number of good lookers and eye candies that want to distract you. You might think it’s okay to look at the menu, even if you’re not going to order anything. But, why look? Fantasizing and wishing you had something else only makes it seem like you don’t want what you have. This obviously isn’t true, because you ordered it. If you want to put your family first, start with what you think and the way you think. Your family and spouse should be number one, period. Keep your eyes on the prize, because really, you’ve already won.
Don’t Let Money Stress You Out
If you’ve ever lost a large sum of money, you’ll understand why a family can be stressful. People are constantly taking your money from all angles. If you want to get rid of the stress, set up a budget with your spouse and stick to it. It doesn’t matter who makes the most money, so long as you both agree on how to allocate money towards your future goals together. You’re a team now, and you need to recognize that financial decisions impact everyone.
Make Time for Romance
When life gets busy, romance sometimes gets put on the back burner. If you leave it back there for too long, it’s going to boil over. You need to make an effort to rekindle those feelings of passion during the monotony of your daily operations. Simple acts can go a long way. Try leaving your spouse a small note in their pocket to tell them you care. Or, if possible, surprise your spouse with a short vacation or an evening out. When you do get a chance to be alone, don’t waste it worrying about problems at home or the kids. Focus on the love that brought you together and the rest will take care of itself.
Listen, Think, Then Speak
We get it, you have a lot of compelling things to say. But so do your kids and your spouse. Now is your chance to be the parent and spouse that says the right things and encourages your family. Take a minute to hear them out and consider where they’re coming from. Even if you disagree with them, they’ll appreciate that you respected them enough to listen. You might mess up sometimes and say the first thing that pops into your brain. Try again from the start and listen, think, then choose your words carefully and speak.
Show Your Family How You Feel About Them
You love them, so now it’s time to show it. There are a few different approaches you can use. Some need to hear words of love and encouragement, while others appreciate when you help with their homework or doing the dishes. Hugs and kisses should be used heavily on a regular basis. Meaningful gifts are great on occasion, but you should make sure you give them the greatest gift of all—your time and attention.
If you want to learn more about how not to ruin your family and relationship, read “15 Ways to Keep Relationships Working.”