Relationship Questions – Looking for Love

Looking for Love

Divorced, in active search, widowed… Here you’ll find answers to the questions asked by our Facebook Users! Read and find something that is close to you!

Q. 1 I am divorced and I am sometimes relieved that I am out of this unhappy relationship but my question is how can I live the rest of my life and not become lonely without feeling the warmth, love and tenderness of a sincere partner. Also is it possible at the old age of 50 to easily find a suitable partner?

A. Divorces are invariably horrible things to go through and I’m sorry that this has happened to you. I can understand if this has made you anxious about your future with regards to being with someone. The best thing to start with when looking for happiness is, I believe, yourself. You can be happy without the need for any other one person by becoming more self-complimentary and changing your surroundings by letting other people who compliment your qualities into your life. You should realise that no matter what age you are, you’re a beautiful human being and have many qualities to offer many people positively. Once you realise this you will, first consciously and then unconsciously, become more inwardly fulfilled. This way you may realise a few things for instance, that relationships are important but not singularly between a single partner, you’re a lot better than you clearly think you are and also that more people will be attracted to your positivity.

With regard to your age, do you remember dating/meeting men when you were younger? They haven’t changed fundamentally and, although the pool has thinned, it hasn’t dried up and there are many suitable men waiting to meet women of all ages. Dating websites, classified ads and dating events are a great way to meet men specifically suited to you and have fun at the same time. I wish you all the best of luck.

Q. 2 As a single guy who is interested in meeting women; what are the best ways that you know of to deciphering whether or not a person is seeking LOVE, or merely seeking HELP?

A. I like the way you use the word ‘deciphering’. By this, may I presume that you’ve had trouble distinguishing between these two types of people before? The answer is relatively simple however it may take some conscious observation of the woman’s actions. Without sounding like an anthropologist, what I would try to do would be to observe how the woman you’re interested in reacts in her own, with other people and also when offered (I assume the) specific help you talked about.

People who are looking for a financial or emotional support usually tend to feign acceptance from the person who offers it initially however once the tap has been turned on they cannot say no. If you can spot that trait in somebody then I suggest you run.

Without sounding too blasé on the subject of ‘people looking for love’, isn’t everybody searching for that? What I would say though is that it takes an emotionally mature person to understand that properly within themselves and so look for women with that quality or self-assurance.

Q. 3 I am a widow but I’m waiting for a man who can love me forever….I’m looking for advice on how to find this.

A. I am truly sorry for the loss, it is a horrible thing to have gone through however I’m glad you have gotten to a point in which you are ready to move on and find a new life partner- kudos to you!

When looking for somebody to spend your life with, I’d say that you seem to already know what qualities you would like to let into your life and to reflect on these in your upcoming searches. One thing I should stress is that I refer to the fundamentals and not the specifics of what made your previous relationship one which you were willing to engage in such as for example shrewdness, honesty or sense of humour etc.

Whatever characteristics you would like, one I would recommend most highly is the ability to trust your partner. Most relationships, I find, are predicated on little things; similar interests, mutual attraction etc. Relationships which tend to become long-term or even lifelong, however, pass this initial cohesion and can only develop when both people are comfortable enough to trust the other by demonstrating how they really are as a person.

There are many men out there and there are many ways to find them but finding the right one is the hardest thing of all. All I can say is that you should remember- finding somebody you are attracted to for whatever reason is initially good however once you can trust them, you will soon find out if they’re the one for you.

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