The Talk (Part 2): How To Do It Right

Singles on Cupid

Congratulations on ingesting and internalising every word of the previous article ‘The Talk: What not to do’. Now let’s try the flip side of the coin and face it, it would seem like there aren’t many other things you can talk about now are there? Luckily this is not just about topics of conversation but how to present them, making you look like the Don Corleone of conversationalism.

Ok, to begin we’ll begin with….the beginning seems like a fitting place, namely, the introduction of your fine self to the soon-to-be-wooed. What do you start with? Well obviously, barging into another conversation is not an option so wait for a quiet moment to say something simple: a compliment with a smile, an innocent question or the classic simple drink offer- nothing forceful or committal but something to test to see if the water is warm. If the water is all fine and lovely, no dive-bombing with rubbish! You should skirt around the sides with small talk, but a very specific type of small talk with a possible risqué element (not stalwart cliché classics such as the weather or ‘what do you do’), this should grab her attention whilst asserting yours and cut to the chase- yay or nay!

This is the start complete, have you soaked it in? Good, you’re rocking, now you’re in conversation and have a good line of communication like Spock to Kirk, how do you beam her up? Well always remember that comedy is golden, you can laugh a girl into bed but make sure she’s laughing and certainly don’t retry lines that have previously worked, keep it fresh. The comedic approach is good as there are so many ranges of it from blunt comedy to satire so keep in mind which lands best and stay on that vein of topic. Honestly if it can get Adam Sandler a wife, it can get you a date.

Depending on your surroundings and the type of female you tend to go for, you may find yourself in a (god forbid!) conversation! Well, a good discussion never hurts but believe me, an argument is the last thing you need straight off the bat so if there are any differences in opinion remember the line: ‘Discuss, don’t argue. If you argue correctly, you are never wrong.’ These wise words came from a character that convinces millions of people that smoking is not bad for you (just because you don’t like the source it doesn’t mean the facts are wrong you know). What it means is that studying an argument objectively and from differing angles can be impressively persuasive. Impressive rocks trust me. Persuasive is kind of the whole point too.

Ask about her! It’s all about getting to know each other right? There is no subjects that we humans love talking about more than the subject of ourselves, believe me, but when talking about you, try to keep it relatively short and keep the focus on the lady like a good gentleman. Another great tip is to regurgitate (ew) that information about her when the opportunity arises to show that you’ve been listening…oh…also LISTEN. Apologies if you’re deaf but you get the idea.

On the subject or subjects….know your subject, however, don’t be afraid to say if you don’t have knowledge of everything, people love to teach things they’re interested in, it’s a natural teaching instinct we all, but especially women have. Actually come to think of it that’s pretty much what I’m doing but I’m a guy trust me.

Everybody comes to a point when you’ve just met a person and there is a silence…then it drags…then you both notice it and struggle to blurt something out and before you know it you’ve just spat your drink out whilst spluttering the word ‘Pokemon!’ Not good. It’s always good to have a quick-switch subject closely related to what you were just talking about handy in your mind but remember to make them topical…actually Pokemon works with the type of girl I go for.

Try not to use ‘filler’ language such as ‘erm’ or ‘ah’. It makes you seem nervous or sadly, less intellectual than (I’m sure) you are. If you really can’t think, pausing is not a problem and makes you appear more thoughtful. This technique needs practise if you’re a habitual user of the ‘Ummmm’s and whilst you’re training yourself out of this habit; you might as well train the habitual potty mouth element out too. Swearing is not a turn on for a laaaaarge proportion of women.

Alrighty then! That concludes another masterclass on the art of seduction language-styley so give it a try and good luck out there.

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