Now that we have some basic rules established, it seems amiss of me not to go over the basic technique itself. There are so many rules, regulations, documentation, rituals (you get the idea) to get through so this section is purely to give you an example of what you can more or less expect to be doing. Don’t worry, no animal sacrifice or anything, but this section only touches on many of the more complicated aspects of this cracker of a technique.
AT LAST! It’s the weekend and you’re prepared for ‘tripping das licht fantastische’ with your trust wingman, carefully selected as per the rules of the previous post. The work attire is off, the cologne is on and the mankini has been considered as a last minute show stopper but mercifully rejected by the committee. It’s time to meet some of the finer sex!
Now upon entering the bar you and your wingman; let’s call him Alfonze for now, have propped up the bar and carefully select the lovely ladies who will be hopefully not throwing drinks at you later…and then you see her. Among the pack of post pre-drink sozzled foxes you spot a lovely young vixen in amongst the melee, possibly giving you the eye, possibly staring at the drinks offers directly above your head on the wall. A quick side note here, it is a very rare bird that flies solo at a bar, beware of this type, but more on this later for with a word to your brother, a little nod and the work begins.
Firstly the approach, letting Alfonze slide up to the bar on the side of the ruck of her lady friends, he engages a couple of them with sharp and amusing repartee giving you nod when all but a straggler or two are engaged. This is your chance to engage the vixen; let’s call her Natalia for now, however not initially with the Shakespearean word but with a bit of eye contact, a gentle smile and a smooth, non-committal opening sentence. Hazaaaa, my friend! If you have no rejection, no drink in your eyes and haven’t been inundated by the previously distracted pack, you’ve begun your manoeuvre with Jason Bourne-like precision. Good boys.
The rest of the conversation, drink buying and utilisation of Alfonze is an art form and too complicated to put down here and will be covered in following posts (we wouldn’t want to give it all away now), but needless to say you will charm the socks off her friends whilst wooing your intended. You will have needed to have used a delicate combination of flirting, distraction, interplay with good old Alfonze whilst keeping her pack distracted from your private conversation and interjections.
Now one of the hardest elements to any pick up is sealing the deal, we have all been there, the lady in question has been fed and watered like a platinum plant and for some inexplicable reason she gets away, carried atop a raft of her friends’ arms to the next place not to be seen again. Oh no. Once again, this is where the trusty Alfonze comes in. Alfonze needs to have been sociable enough to be interesting but not interesting enough to be attractive to your dear Natalia and co. that a conversation can be had alone with just the two of you. This is where you ask for a number/date/taxi and done with no smooth lines, no messing about, no chicken wing sauce down your shirt. Then cross those fingers.
A quick note here, it’s natural to be rejected, sometimes they just aren’t that into you I’m afraid. If done correctly there will at the very least be consideration on this point but always attempt to execute the ‘seal the deal’ section just late enough so that if you left it wouldn’t be considered too early to leave but early enough for there to be another attempt if you can muster the strength in another place if it all goes wrong. If at first you don’t succeed…you’re obviously not Chuck Norris, don’t worry about it.