The Wingman – Your Attire


Ok men, I don’t mean to patronise however  erm…I will. Some of the basics of the woman’s mind evade you yet worry not, there is not a soul on earth that can understand it completely (google Steven Hawking’s view on this for proof). I hate to say this but women can be as shallow as men at times and make judgements on a person instantly according to how you look ‘Mean Girls’ style. This will shape the way the night goes so follow these basic tips and you and your boy will be on your way.

I’m going to say this: if you didn’t already know that there should be no holes or stains in your outfit you may leave as there is no helping you. I jest, you will, of course, need the most help and NEVER leave a man behind if he’s alone. Everybody really should know that creases (unless styled in), stains (unless they’re hidden WELL away) or holey garments (unless you’re the pope) are not acceptable and are grounds for failure alone.

Next the little touches to gain plus points. Firstly a nice belt has to be worn, nothing too flashy but a little metal with SMALL branding should suffice. Nobody wants a diamanté snakeskin flashing DKNY at them in a club, be you male or female. Cuff links are acceptable however never if you haven’t brought a suit jacket, they look very out of place with the lonesome shirt almost like they’re missing a parent.

One of the most important things when it comes to upping your game and I cannot stress this enough is a nice watch. Have a look at your outfit in a mirror- looking sharp soldier; now look at it with a nicely complimented watch. Bang. The difference is instantly visible and god knows how it works (and before you ask we aren’t sponsored by any watches bit approaches will be leapt upon). The watch should be classic and not too big of you’re wearing a suit, leather strap, not metal as you’re not Jaws in Moonraker…too much metal.

Shoes are another big one, just imagine how much more women know about shoes than you and then look at your feet, what do yours say? They may say you need some nicer shoes. Nothing can beat classic stylish, leather, black or brown and well fitting. No sandals or big boots are needed and make sure they’re polished well enough that they are neat but not so much you could blind from 30 paces.

Now to the faux pas and you wouldn’t be surprised to know that there are a few so I’ll be brief with each one.

  • Leather – not too much, a nicely fitted jacket or a huge wallet only.
  • Double denim- get out.
  • Light/stonewashed denim- are you in 1980’s Miami? Or Miami?
  • Shades indoors- not unless you’re Edgar David’s or Seal.
  •   Tracksuits- nothing screams ‘penniless possible drug addict’ more.
  • Your underwear visible- especially towards the end of laundry week.
  • Wedding ring- go home to your poor wife!
  • Hair- unclean, overdyed, man buns, comb overs or ridiculously styled are all big no-nos (notice the  omission of mullets here).
  • I hope that’s cleared a few things up and given you a few ideas. No matter what happens out there, just remember to enjoy yourself, a good smile is the most attractive thing in the world.

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