Online dating is an art form…well, it is for those who know what they’re doing. Charm is translated over the internet, and if you have none, then you’re DOA. It takes a bit of suave and a way with words to draw anyone’s attention. In fact, it’s even easier for women online to brush you off than it is in reality, because if they don’t like what you say in that first message, they can block you in a click. While you may be able to try again with her at the club, there are no second chances in the virtual world.
So, in some ways, you must be even sharper and more impressive online than is required in person. How can you impress her? How do you engage her? How do you spark her interest and build a rapport?
Six Do’s and Don’ts of Online Dating Tips to Get Your Virtual Love Life off to a Flying Start
1. Do take that first step
Perhaps she looks too hot for you; perhaps her profile is intimidating. Don’t let that hold you back. She may truly be out of your league, but some chicks like an underdog – especially if you have the charm and wit to make her laugh. You won’t win anyone over with your silence, so give it a shot – send her that email. And if she says she’s not interested or doesn’t respond, don’t let it break your heart. There are plenty of others out there who might appreciate your humor and candor.
2. Don’t be like all the rest
Some simple but important online dating email tips: Don’t be rude. Don’t be crude. Don’t be too familiar, too quickly. Don’t use pick-up lines. Quite simply, don’t be like all the rest.
I know plenty of upstanding girls who date online and you wouldn’t believe the garbage they have to sift through to find a gentleman; one who is normal, friendly and doesn’t approach them like every woman in the world owes him something. Treat her like a human being you want to get to know, not an object to be won.
3. Do be honest but cautious
There’s no bigger turn-off than when you find out someone has lied in their online profile or directly to you through messaging. Then again, it’s always smart to be cautious online and not share too much with someone you only know virtually. So find that happy medium: be honest about who you are and the way you are, but if you don’t feel comfortable sharing intimate or private details with someone you’ve just met through the interwebs, then simply tell them you want to build trust before sharing that information. And NEVER EVER share personal identity details with anyone online. Speaking from naïve experience, you’ll most certainly get phished or, even worse, experience fraud.
4. Don’t be a tease
While some may not think online dating is truly intimate, to others, it’s an experience of emotional investment. Exchanging your life story with someone and getting to know them in this way, slowly and over time, is personal. If the other person is leading you on or really has no interest in building a relationship with you, then it can be heartbreaking. So don’t be a tease and break someone’s heart. If you’re uninterested, don’t pretend like you are.
5. Do be mysterious
Out of all the online dating tips for email, this one will give you some game. While you should be honest, half the fun of dating online is the mystery of that other person. Maintain that mystery. Don’t overshare. Be friendly but concise. Be flirty and exciting, but not too informative. If they don’t ask, don’t tell. And be insightful and intelligent with your own questions. Reach into their truths and force them to share themselves. The more a person shares with you, the more connected they feel to you. Not only will this result in a more honest exchange, but it will keep them interested and coming back for more.
6. Don’t give up
Although I can guarantee that you’ll have some terrible online experiences before you find “the one,” I can’t guarantee that “the one” is out there. However, you won’t find out if you don’t try. Regardless of whether or not you meet someone online who is perfect with you, you will have some interesting and intelligent conversations and you may even make some lifelong friends. And you never know, maybe they’ll know someone who is perfect for you.
7. Do meet up
For online dating, when to meet is the biggest question of them all. It’s scary, after all that flirting back and forth, to finally make plans for the big reveal. I would recommend to do it sooner, rather than later. If you think there is a connection, then find out in person. Otherwise, you might become emotionally invested in a relationship that, when you finally meet, lacks physical and personality chemistry. This is lost time and lost love. Meet up as soon as you feel comfortable and see if this is the match made in heaven you think it is.
While online email dating takes some panache, everyone can hone their skills and build active personal relationships online. Try these 7 tips and watch your virtual love life blossom!
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