Why Do People Lie About Their Feelings?
Sometimes lying is done with malicious intent – for example, an ax murderer who claims he has no idea where the bodies are buried. Other times, dishonesty may come out of insecurities – lying about your age, for instance – or out of a wish not to hurt someone’s feelings – “Awwwww, your baby is beautiful!” There are pathological liars, and then there’s George Washington, who never told a lie. Most of us lie somewhere in between the extremes; we indulge in a white lie, now and again, bending the truth just a little so we can preserve our ego. And sometimes, we even lie to ourselves in order to maintain psychological harmony.
So Why, When it Comes to Relationships, Do People Lie About Their Feelings?
1. To Project Their Lie
Many people lie about their feelings to project a different image of themselves for others to see. This is to gain approval or acceptance from their peers or partners. The problem with little white lies of this order is that they aid us in projecting a false identity, which becomes more difficult to hold up in court. In a relationship, especially, a false identity is never good. Though it protects our self-esteem and ego, the need for acceptance from your partner means you sometimes put up a façade to mask what’s going on underneath.
2. To Protect Their Weakness
One of the primary reasons people lie about their feelings is to protect themselves and others. Lying for self-protection stems from the need to keep oneself from becoming vulnerable. In this way, we safeguard our feelings to cover up insecurities or weaknesses so that our partners won’t ever see us fully exposed. We also don’t want our partners to be vulnerable, so we protect them with lies. If your girl says she loves the present you bought her with a slight grimace on her face, it’s not because she wants to deceive you. It’s because she hopes to spare your feelings. And you return the favor. Perhaps her butt does look big in those jeans…But would you ever dare say so?
3. To Please
In any relationship, we aim to please. You say you’ll take out the trash, even though you don’t intend to. You tell her you to adore her mother, despite the fact that she drives you nuts. You may even say “I love you” long before you mean it in order to please that needy partner. We lie about lots of things, including our feelings, in order not to rock the boat. In fact, we want to ensure the smoothest sailing possible. So we lie and say we feel good in this relationship.
4. To Preserve
Lying also seems necessary sometimes to preserve the relationship itself…in particular, if the lie is a huge one. If your girl asks you how you feel about another woman, are you going to tell her the truth – that you might find the woman in question attractive? Of course not. We lie to preserve the relationship. Let’s just hope that we don’t get caught.
How Can You Understand If the Partner Has Not Lost Feeling for You
The couple has been living together for several years. They are used to each other, and it would seem that you have no secrets and misunderstandings with him. However, you suddenly begin to feel that something is wrong with you intuitively. The partner begins to move away and somewhat withdrawn into himself. What to do in this case? The most important thing is not to panic. There is a way out of all situations. And here, the solution is impossibly simple - to talk.
Conversations between partners in a couple can work wonders and save even a seemingly hopeless relationship. In addition, a timely dialogue can prevent an expensive and save your relationship with your boyfriend in time. So how do you understand that the companion is cooling towards you and your feelings are in danger?
Talk About How Was Your Day
When you first started living together, talking about how your day went, what news at work (school, sporting events, or an exhibition of his favorite hamster) was commonplace. Every evening, sitting down to have tea or dinner, you talked to him, showed a sincere interest in his affairs.
Over the years, these conversations were reduced to a minimum, and then they stopped altogether. This may well give your boyfriend a backlash. Always being a little boy at heart, your man always wants you to be interested in his affairs. After all, this is a direct manifestation of care for him.
So do not think that this is important and always be interested in all the events in his life. But don't forget that there are days when he is not in the mood for communication. In this case, do not intrude and talk to him about his affairs at a more appropriate moment.
Find Out What Relationship He Takes Perfect
Given that you live with your boyfriend, you may watch movies with him from time to time in the evenings. And, no matter what films you prefer - melodramas, action films, or horrors, the cinema is designed in such a way that love is always present in each of them.
In the film's plot, there is a couple in love that goes through all the tests and overcomes the general difficulties that arise in the narrative. Here you can understand what kind of relationship of a couple your companion considers ideal.
As the movie progresses, ask leading questions so that you can correct your behavior and, possibly, correct some of your mistakes that interfere with your relationship.
Suggest Him to Try Something New
No matter how ideal your relationship with your boyfriend is, the years that have passed make them boring. Everything "becomes boring," and the days become like two drops of water similar to one another.
It is quite possible that in this case, your boyfriend will try to look for entertainment and new sensations, as they say, on the side. Here your task is simply not to let him do it. If you notice that routine everyday life has become boring and monotonous, suggest that he try something new. Here the flight of your imagination is unlimited. This could be:
- New positions or places for lovemaking play
- Joint extreme entertainment
- Buying a puppy and going to the show with him
- Sports that you will do together
- Participation in amateur chess tournaments
In general, it can be anything you like. You know your boyfriend better than anyone, so decide what exactly might be interesting to him. Do not forget that you must share a new hobby with him.
Frank Talk About Your Couple
For a couple who have not spent a week or a month together, frank conversations are considered quite common. Therefore, if you start to feel that the guy is moving away from you, you should simply talk to him "heart to heart."
The main thing here is to choose the right moment. Do not start communication if the guy is tired, he has troubles at work, or he even sits in front of the TV and does not take his eyes off the football championship with his favorite team's participation.
Do not forget that, being more secretive and uncommunicative by nature, a man is unlikely to be the first to start a conversation of this kind. But he will be able to support him or answer your questions. This kind of communication is quite capable of solving many problems in your relationship and preventing a breakup.
Nothing Is Over
Whatever it was, if you take timely measures to save your relationship, the chances are high enough for you.
Choose the right moment to start a conversation and find the right words. You will certainly succeed because you love your boyfriend (husband) and know him even better than he knows himself.
And, again, if your feelings are dear to him, he will certainly go to meet you. Your frank conversation and great love will certainly help to overcome all difficulties and save a fading relationship.
How It Is Easy to Prove Your Feelings to Your Loved One
Absolutely every person wants to feel truly loved. But this is often the problem: how to show your loved one that he is dear, that you appreciate and love him? Constantly saying "I love you!", of course, is possible and even necessary, but not everyone believes, and even with frequent repetition, the effect is somehow smoothed out.
It was good once upon a time when a man could perform feats for the sake of his beloved woman, and it was enough for her to give him, for example, diamond pendants as a keepsake. And now? No feats, no diamonds. What to do? It turns out that quite harmless everyday little things are enough to make a person feel needed and important to you.
Yes Yes Yes! Such simple words as "Good morning!", "Thank you!", "Good health," "Please!" Don't forget about them! They weren't just invented. Especially the word thank you. It indicates that you have noticed that someone has done something nice for you. The man tried, and you appreciate it. Remember the saying: "A kind word and the cat is pleased"? Believe me, it really is.
A kiss is a small, intimate gesture available even in a public place. We are talking about the usual light kiss on the cheek or lips when we meet, say goodbye, as a token of gratitude and just like that. He can show a lot.