How to Overcome Your Fear of Relationships

7 Ways to Overcome Your Fear of Relationships

Our follower asked us how to stop being afraid of falling in love.

While those who fear relationships are often termed “commitment-phobes,” many phobias are involved when it comes to this particular fear, and they’re all intertwined. If you fear relationships, this is often due to a lack of trust, a fear of losing oneself in another, and an unwillingness to put in the time and effort that it takes to make a relationship work. To overcome these trepidations, follow these 7 ways to overcome your fear of relationships.

  1. Learn to Trust

If you’ve never been hurt, maybe it’s easier to trust someone with your heart…but, let’s face it; most of us have at least once, and some have felt heartbreak, time and again. This leads to cynicism about relationships and an inherent inability to trust the person you’re with, whether they’ve given you reason to doubt them or not. In order to overcome the cynicism and distrust, you must find someone you’re willing to take a chance on opening your heart to again. Only then will you be able to give love another shot.

  1. Learn to Talk

Talking about who you are, how you are, and why you are the way you are will allow this trust to grow. A partner who listens and demonstrates that he or she cares and wants you to express yourself is worth keeping. Being able to talk openly and feel acceptance from your partner will help conquer your fear.

  1. Learn to Listen

Communication is a two-way street. You must also learn to listen to who your partner is, how he is, or why she is the way she is. And you must be willing to give your partner the time and energy that you’ve received in return.

  1. Learn to Change

Some say that you shouldn’t have to change for a relationship, but that’s silly. Unless you are literally perfect for each other, everyone must change a little to accommodate their partners. But these changes should only be surface changes – putting the laundry in the laundry basket, as opposed to on the floor, doing the dishes in a timely manner, attending each other’s important events, etc. Your partner should never change the core of who you are and your values, unless these are things you want to change. Otherwise, this is not a relationship you should be in.

  1. Learn to Accept

You will also have to accept your partner’s core. This can be difficult at times, particularly if your partner’s values oppose your own. But if you love this person, you will learn to accept them, despite differences, and you won’t try to change their core or their values, because you know this is who they are.

  1. Learn to Share

Some people fear relationships, because they don’t like sharing. They don’t like sharing their things, their burdens, or themselves. This doesn’t necessarily mean they’re selfish, but it does mean they’ll have to learn to allow their partner into their home and their heart in order to overcome their fear of relationships. Take baby steps. Try sharing your sandwich first, and then maybe share a laugh.

  1. Learn to Love

Many times, those who fear relationships have closed their hearts. This may be because they don’t want to be vulnerable to the pain of heartache or loss. But when you close your heart, you’re not giving it the opportunity to love and be loved. You deserve to be loved, and so does your partner. Open your heart, and fear will be overcome.

Don’t let a fear of relationships debilitate your love life. Follow these 7 ways to overcome your fear of relationships, and soon you’ll learn to love again.


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