Do Older Men Really Want Young Girlfriends?
In most cases, the simple answer is yes. Now let’s support this with research.
In an extensive 1989 study that covered 6 continents and 37 cultures, researcher, David Buss, surveyed groups of people on the issue of relationship age gaps. He found that in every single culture, women preferred older men by 3.42 years, while men preferred younger women by 2.66 years. Additionally, the University of Wales Institute, Cardiff recently did a worldwide study that confirmed this.
For the most part, older men do want young girlfriends. The question we should be asking is,
- Why do older men seek out women substantially younger than they are? Is it completely superficial? Do they want a “trophy” on their arm? Do they think younger women are easier to control?
- Or does love really have no age, as some say?
To find out, let’s analyze some of the reasons older men may want younger women, and what each partner is getting out of this relationship.
Why do older men want younger women?
One of the main reasons older men seek younger women is their feeling of “sexual invisibility.” Often, they no longer feel attractive, and so when a younger woman, who is youthful and physically attractive, pays attention to them, it’s a definite ego-boost.
Is this a bad thing? To feel appreciated by someone you admire? No. Everyone has an ego, and those who feed our ego a bit do so because they feel something for us. Most men or women don’t pay particular attention to or compliment those who don’t interest them.
Older women report the same sense of “sexual invisibility,” but the reason you don’t as often see older women chasing younger men is that a younger man’s opinion doesn’t validate their sexual desirability. Older women more often feel validated by male peers of the same age or older, as the above studies indicate.
What are they each getting out of this relationship?
For the older men, younger women offer the following: a) sexual attraction, b) a youthful feeling, c) fulfill their sexual desire and provide companionship, and d) (maybe) respect their authority more and don’t nag as frequently as a woman their own age might.
For the younger women, the men also offer plenty: a) financial security, b) reliability, c) companionship, and d) serve as an authority figure, which is especially valued to those who’ve never had one in their lives.
Conclusion: Does love really have no age?
The answer to this question depends on how you define love (you can read how we define it in our article, “How Do You Know Someone Loves You?”). If love to you means companionship, feelings of affection for another person, and satisfaction and fulfillment in a relationship that provides give and take to both parties, then the older man/younger woman relationship is most certainly one of love.
The bottom line: the reasons older men go for young girlfriends are more complex than most assume. And with the right person, love can truly be ageless and timeless.