How Do You Know Someone Loves You?

Recently our followers asked Wingman Barney how to know if someone loves you. When someone says “I love you,” does he really mean it? Is she just returning your love, because she feels obligated? People are difficult to read, especially when it comes to identifying the most valued emotion in existence: love. Love is defined differently by everyone. Some see physical attraction as love, some see infatuation as love, and some see love as a lasting connection of the soul. For the sake of this article, we’ll go with the last definition.

So this deep love connection – how do you know when both parties in a relationship feel it? How do you know when someone loves you or is just saying they do? How do you know when they mean it? And if they find it hard to say “I love you” altogether, are there ways to decipher whether love is there or not?

Behaviors of Love


People in love are goofballs. Someone who is in love feels free around their romantic partner. They are comfortable and at ease. They aren’t guarded or inhibited. Love means being able to be yourself completely – ratty hair, sweatpants, gut-splitting laugh, and all. A person in love is also unequivocally happy around you and is even giddy to the point of absolute silliness. You make them smile, you make them laugh. If they’re hyper and laughing and don’t seem to know why, it’s likely because their heart is racing so fast, due to all the love it’s beating. And when they’re having a bad day, they come to you to make it better. If they don’t seem happy when they’re around you, they’re probably not in love. And, moreover, if they don’t try to cheer you up or feel empathy for you when you’re having a down day, they don’t care much for you.

Actions of Love


A person in love listens and demonstrates they have. A person in love is there for you through the good times and the bad. They don’t abandon you when you need them most. They support, understand, and believe in you. If they’re in love, they want you to be happy, so they do things for you to make you smile. And if that partner never wants to leave your side, preferring to be with you more than anyone else in the world, then, yes – they’re probably head-over-heels in love with you.

Speech of Love


People in love enjoy complimenting each other, not only because they love to see those they love happy, but because they really mean them. What’s more, they know your values, so they know how to touch not only your ego with a compliment, but your heart. People in love also expect to be with those they love forever. Their speech reflects this. They talk about the here and now, but they also talk about their future with you. If they’re the kind of “in love” that means forever, then being forever together will be a given.

Lastly, when the person you love says “I love you,” how does he/she say it and how is the package delivered? Is it offhand and thrown out like an afterthought, or is it said with sincerity and intimacy? If it’s the latter, the person loves you; if it’s the former, they’re just saying so.

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