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WINGMAN BARNEY | FEBRUARY 22, 2021

How to Be Free in a Relationship – Do’s & Don’ts

Singles on Cupid

Afraid You’ll Lose Your Freedom in a Relationship?

If you’re in a healthy one, you won’t. Still, even in a healthy relationship, you will sometimes feel smothered. But don’t worry – we’ve got you covered with these to-do’s & don’ts of how to be free in a relationship.

Don’t Suffocate Each Other

If you know your partner, you can read him or her like a book. You know when your partner is cranky, hungry, and when they’re feeling suffocated. Read your partner’s verbal and nonverbal cues and back off when they need more space. And if you’re the partner who needs space, discusses this with your partner. My god, they’re not a mind-reader!

Do Allow “Alone-Time”

While it may sound childish, not only will establishing designated hours of “alone-time” allow you a breather from each other but picking a specific time will ensure that your partner doesn’t feel like you’re “pulling away.” Choose a few hours each week or day to be spent with yourself. Doing so will make you feel free and balanced.

Don’t Control Each Other

Neither men nor women want to be controlled by their partner (not usually, anyway) because they feel constricted when they are. Don’t put your guy or gal in jail through commands or rule books. Allow them the freedom to be who they are and do what they want…within limits, of course. I mean by this that you shouldn’t tell her how to dress or order her to complete your to-do lists, etc., to the point that your partner starts to feel used and abused.

Do Find Your Own Hobbies

Having your own hobbies will ensure that you’re not doing everything together. Again, this relates to spending some time with yourself, doing the things you’re passionate about. While it’s also nice to have shared hobbies, establishing your own will give you that little bit of freedom you need to stay sane.

Don’t Be Dependent

A true partnership relies on giving and take. You shouldn’t be dependent on your partner for everything, nor should you be the partner who is always leaned on. Basically, don’t be anyone’s crutch or expect them to be yours. It’s nice to lean on someone every once in a while and be leaned on, but you should also be an independent individual, entering into an equal partnership.

Do Go Out with Friends

Sometimes it’s easier to stay in when your partner is your friend. You have the best of both worlds, sitting on the couch for a good ol’ Netflix-and-chill. But do go out once in a while with your friend group. Not only will it allow you some freedom from each other, but you also shouldn’t neglect your friends and family just because you’re in a relationship. In the long run, getting into this habit will be healthier for both parties and will establish a license to go out with the gals or hang in the mancave.

You don’t have to feel like your guy or gal is the “ol’ ball and chain.” While singledom can look much freer from the other side of the fence, there is the freedom to be had in relationships if you mend your own fences.

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If Your Boyfriend Offers You a Free Relationship - What to Do?

Singles on Cupid

Time changes everything. Even the relationship between a man and a woman. Even if nothing needs to be changed in this relationship, there was a completely stylish fad - an open relationship. When a loved one offered an open relationship, not every lady will be overwhelmed by this, but it happened, and you have to put up with it. Or not necessary, now we'll find out.

What It Means When You Are Offered a Free Relationship

First of all, it is worth considering what an open relationship is. No one has yet given a precise definition of this, but it is customary to think that in such a relationship, a man and a woman can spend time with their partner and anyone they like. Partners can hide the events of their lives from each other, plan events without considering the opinion of their partner, and be around only when it is convenient.

If you notice, the word "favorite" is never used here. Because, most likely, in such a relationship, love is excluded.

It should be noted right away that if a man proposes to make the relationship free, this means that he has not yet quite decided how important his woman is to him. Obviously, when a young man is crazy about his beloved, it never even occurs to share her with someone else. But when the young gentleman does not want to lose this charming girl and is already fascinated by the next charm, and at the same time, he wants to remain honest (?!), He puts his legs in the third position and offers an open relationship.

Do I Agree to This?

Most of the women will immediately wave their hands, "No way !!", "What else !!", "On the count of this villain!" And yet, maybe you shouldn't be too definite? In any case, there are several more women who love “this scoundrel” so much that they are ready for anything, just to be near at least someday. You should not write off those chanterelles who agree with their beloved in everything but do it their own way.

Do Not Allow Mistakes

You can sincerely accept an offer of an open relationship only if you are indifferent to your partner if you are not afraid of losing him if you have nothing to lose in your relationship. Then yes, I agree and naively believe that life will change dramatically for the better.

In fact, while agreeing to such an offer, a woman should be ready to cook, wash, iron, and please a man as before, whenever he wants. But at the same time, she should expect that at any moment when he needs his help, he may have a meeting with ... someone, he was invited somewhere, he is too busy, at the moment he is in the last stage of fatigue, he has a job, and he just doesn't want to help you - the relationship is free ... from you!!

With all his attitude, if you do not want to lose your beloved, do not try to "buy" his offer and bring a new acquaintance to the house to "fix the TV." There will never be forgiven for this. Your bleating “but you said it yourself” will immediately be followed by an angry cry, “but I didn’t offer to drag him home!”, “But I didn’t allow you with the first comer!”, "Yes, I just saw that this is all you need!" (further you can think of yourself).

If you want a man to stay with you, he should never know that his lady cheated on him. A real man will never forget this. By offering an open relationship, he clears the way for his free adventures, but not yours. This is important!

What Should You Do if a Man Offered You a Free Relationship

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If this man is dear to you, you need to mobilize. Such a proposal suggests that the romance in your relationship has already passed away, and the relationship itself is bursting at the seams. They just need to be “darned” by any means.

If you refuse such an offer, the man can simply leave, so it is best to agree for a loving young lady. Agree and start a complete redesign of yourself.

Take a critical look at yourself. Maybe you have already stopped looking after yourself and turned into a dimensionless aunt? Or maybe you keep your eyes on your idol, and your love has become cloying? Or maybe you "tightened the nuts" too much?

In any case, something needs to be changed. Let the man be in a sweet delusion about an open relationship. You have a lot of work ahead of you. Of course, changing a blue robe to a green one is a serious step, but you will need more global changes. Have you worn long hair for years? You need a bold haircut! Are you a naive blonde? Why not become a fatal brunette? Do you love to embroider and bake donuts? Try diving and extreme driving.

You have to get busy. Now you have to call all the time. Moreover, the loved one mustn't know who is calling. He must see - he releases the genie from the bottle! He's not the only one who needs you! It turns out that you are in great demand! And… well, of course, “you need such a cow yourself”!

Your lover should doubt all the time but never know exactly where you are, who you are with, and what you are doing. At any moment, when the severity of a free relationship drives a loved one into a rage, to his “and you were with this !!”, you should look naively around your eyes and exhale “how could you think !! I used to wear pies for your mom! " and still prove that you wore pies to his mother (it doesn't matter at all, when exactly); You should always be ready to get your relationship back on track and prove that any free relationship has not touched you. After all, you do not want to be free of your loved one at all.

What Do the Stats Say? Opinion of Psychologists

According to surveys, open relationships are most often offered by women and not by men, which might seem at a first impression. This is because now modern female representatives are focused on building a career, and family and home are no longer attracted. They want a permanent relationship, but not limited to just one partner who would interfere with fully enjoying life. In turn, men are not at all opposed to this situation. Many of them willingly support the idea when the partner does not make any demands and gives complete freedom. To some extent, this is beneficial for them.

Psychologists have different opinions about relationships without commitment. Some say that such behavior is unnatural and associate it with psychological deviations in a person. Others consider it a normal phenomenon that takes place in modern society. In some cases, when the traditional relationship has reached a dead-end, freedom can help, but for a short time. This "drop" of polygamy allows you to dilute the monotony and bring something new to your intimate life. It may seem wrong to some, but many couples resort to this method. Usually, the result is associated with the fact that partners, fed up with other strangers, begin to get bored and return everything to how it was.

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Author
WINGMAN BARNEY
I am a part computer algorithm, part real relationship expert, who can give advice on everything regarding relationships.
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